In Memoriam

Aunt Betty

At around 4AM this morning, my Aunt Betty died due to a massive heart attack. Betty was my mother’s sister and I will always remember her for how ornery she was, and how she always spoke her mind. She had a great sense of sarcasm, and loved dirty jokes. I loved her a lot and will miss her.

Bye Betty. I’ll see you again someday.

It’s OK. I had Subway.

Cheryl’s sister Bonnie came down and spent the week with us this past week. I took three days off in order to have some family time which was nice. Emma got to play a lot, as well as sing songs (or at least have songs sung to her), paint, go out for walks (in her stroller), and many other things. She was thoroughly worn out by her Auntie which was a wonderful wonderful thing.

Saturday morning we all went out to breakfast and then I helped Bonnie navigate around the I-270 shooter by taking some of the back roads. Cheryl, Emma, and I then went to Sam’s Club to do some long overdue shopping.

It’s kind of funny to note that Emma went to bed at around 6:30 PM on Saturday, then slept through to nearly 8 AM the next morning, only waking up long enough to take a bottle and collapse again.

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More photos are on the way, but my other PC crashed so I have been using Cheryl’s e-machine. It’s slow, but it serves it’s purpose of retrieving e-mails and typing up homework assignments. It seems almost vulgar to use a computer that has less than 8MB of video RAM. *shudder*

I know that Bahamut (yes, we geeks name our “rigs”) has given up the ghost because I cracked open the case to find my capacitors belching forth a fetid black sludge.

Anyone have an Abit KA7-100 for sale? Cheap?

At the very least, I can salvage some of the parts for use in Cheryl’s computer, which I have lovingly christened Aeris.

I can at least move the RAM from Bahamut to Aeris. Possibly the sound and video cards. The rest would have to wait for when I can rebuild Bahamut into Neo-Bahamut. We can rebuild it. Faster. Stronger.

Or at least I can sell the remaining parts on eBay so I can afford one of those swag new Dell XPS laptops.

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I applied for yet another job within The Company today. This one is for a job on the northwest side of town. It would be a considerable pay increase from where I am at now, but I’m not holding my breath. I’ve gotten my hopes up too many times thus far to get all worked up again now. I’m kind of getting to the point where apathy is starting to be the rule of the day. I’m not completely apathetic about things now, but I’m slowly getting there. I try not to be, but one can only be rejected or passed over so many times.

Oh well. It’s OK. I had Subway.

Thoughts

Sometimes I will lie in bed at night and listen to the breathing of my wife and my child as they sleep. Cheryl’s breathing is deep and regular. Emma’s is faint and delicate.

Two lives who depend on me, who look at me as an anchor. A husband. A father.

Sometimes it gets pretty overwhelming.

Cheryl has decided that being a stay-at-home-mom is best. I have reservations, but I agree that it is best too.

It’s going to be a rough few months financially, but we should hopefully be able to make it. We are taking steps to alleviate bills somewhat. That should theoretically relieve some of the pressure.

My boss has already told me that we will not be getting bonuses this year, in spite of the fact that the company had a banner year. We were two cents shy on our earnings per share goal, so as such, no bonuses.

Raises will barely cover cost of living increases this year also.

Things are tight everywhere.

I guess I should continue to be thankful that I still have a job. I am thankful. I know I could have been laid off at least three or four times by now.

I guess that just like everyone else in the world, I’m tired and frustrated and stressed about life in general.

Maybe I’m still naive in the fact that I feel that someone should at least enjoy the work they do. I just don’t get the same satisfaction out of my job that I used to. I want to do work that lets me be relevant, and feel fulfilled. I want to do something meaningful and make a difference without taking a chance on losing my house and driving us to financial ruin.

*sigh*

Maybe I am just asking for, or hoping for too much.

I pray that I will soon see some sort of light at the end of the tunnel. Things feel like they are slowly unraveling, and I am grasping at more and more tendrils of fragile string between my fingertips, desperately trying to keep the rope from breaking.

So tonight, I will go to bed and once again hear the breathing of the two women who depend on me. Who, in a few short weeks, will be depending on me even more.

I think things are about to get interesting.

Of Time, Towers, and Taxes

Seeing as I have an hour to go before I get off work and there’s nothing to do, I might as well fill up some more space here.

This past weekend was nice and relaxing for a change. At least Sunday afternoon was anyway.

OK, maybe that doesn’t qualify as the whole weekend, but it sure made the rest seem like it wasn’t too bad.

Saturday was all about running errands and getting things done. We went and visited my friend Dottie and her husband Nick on Saturday and had dinner with them. She also managed to get my taxes done. Thanks to her know-how, I am legally getting several thousand dollars from the Government as a refund. w00t!

In addition, I also got to pick up The LOTR: TTT Extended Edition DVD. Daddy is a happy, happy man.

Too bad this money has to go to pay off credit cards or else Daddy (as they say) would be getting a new pair of shoes.

Or a new pair of laptops anyway.

So, as a result we are experiencing joy-joy feelings over the impending refund and the elimination of some of our credit card debt. This is a good thing.

Sunday morning was all about Church once again. Our Pastor is in the hospital having a pacemaker put in, and our first elder is on the bench because he is sick. The guy that usually leads the services was gone preaching down south somewhere, so that meant I got to be the pinch hitter and lead the service Sunday morning. I’ve done it before on Sunday evening, but not in the morning, so it was a bit of a stretch to be the computer guy, get the bulletins done, arrange an order of service, pick songs, and lead the service.

Needless to say I didn’t go to the evening service hehehe. (That and I had homework that I needed to do.)

If things look a little different on the right hand side of the page, count yourself as observant. I’ve trimmed down the number of photo albums you see to just one, and the best of gallery. I have been growing increasingly dissatisfied with the presentation of the content on this site lately, so I am mulling over what kind of changes I can make to improve the overall appearance. I suppose all of you will find out soon enough what changes I am considering.

Oh well. Decisions decisions.

The Joys of Home Ownership

I woke up this morning to a somewhat arrhythmic beat in my basement and realized that my furnace sounds like a really bad American Idol audition.

My Air Conditioning unit outside has a leak, and vents coolant to the atmosphere. Thankfully it’s environmentally friendly or I would have the EPA hunting me down like the RIAA does kids downloading MP3s off of Kazaa.

I have a slow leak in the roof over my bathroom. As a result, I need to get in touch with a guy Dad knows to throw some more tar on my roof.

The tax windfall that my Realtor told me about has yet to manifest itself in my annual tax return.

My bedroom is cold when it’s freezing outside.

My basement has a tendency to collect a small bit of water when it rains heavily or after snow thaws.

And on top of all that, I think I’m starting my period.

Sorry. Just had to vent.