Pressure and Time

I’m considering taking my site offline because of various financial pressures. I haven’t made a final decision yet though. This hurts because I’ve put so much creative energy into this site but in all reality the money I spend on hosting it could be better used somewhere else. I’m giving this much thought and will arrive at a final decision soon.

Happiness is

• A cup of Tim Horton’s tea
• My little girl running towards me with her arms in the air wanting me to pick her up
• Breakfast with my Dad
• A good book
• Good bluegrass music
• Taking a nap in the afternoon
• A good reuben
• A saturday morning where I can sleep in
• Tea and pop tarts in front of the TV
• Talking with or video gaming with Sam (my old college roommate)
• Good conversation
• Stacks and stacks of comic books
• A cold autumn night lit by moonlight
• Fields of wheat ripe for the harvest
• A breeze blowing bits of cornstalk leaves into the air
• Birds chirping
• Cattle grazing
• Deer running through the fields
• Autumn leaves being blown across the front yard
• Walking through the same autumn leaves and hearing/feeling them crunch and crackle beneath my feet
• A large vanilla Dairy Queen cone
• Roasting marshmallows
• Quiet time
• Driving to work with the radio off
• Fleeting
• Unpredictable
• Fickle
• Evolving
• Learning
• Becoming more than who I am
• Not losing focus
• Knowing what’s important when you need to know it. Not when it’s too late.
• Elusive
• Always there, just waiting for you to rediscover it
• A choice

Blue Jean Baby

On November 13th 2004 we ventured forth to the local Sears Portrait
Studio and had some cute photos taken of Emma. She was an absolute
angel and gave us no trouble whatsoever which we were eternally
thankful for. There are only seven pictures here, but they are worth
it. We hope you enjoy them.

More photos are on the way, I promise. I just need to get them out of the digicam.

The Fathers Own Creation

I usually don’t plan on making regular posts to this site. If anything, I only write when the words want to come forth. Tonight is no exception, however there is a bit of a difference. I know I have something to say, but I don’t know what. Typically writing for me is like a teacup that slowly fills up with liquid and then needs to be emptied, only to begin the process anew. Tonight my teacup is full but I have little idea of what I need to put on this page to exorcise the words. It’s part melancholy, part joy, part sadness, part pain, part pride.

I think of my little girl upstairs and how she ran around the corner as I came into the house tonight. She was running as fast as she could with her arms held high in the air for me to pick her up. She had the biggest smile on her face, and as I held her close to me and asked her how her day was she patted me on the back like I do to her when I hold her close. Her tiny voice saying "Da-ee, Da-ee" over and over again.

God I get misty just thinking about it.

My little girl is such the perfect creature. Surely one of God’s own handmade creations that exists to give me nothing but happiness and to bring sharp focus to my life and a strong sense of purpose. I’ve watched her grow over the last fourteen months and she takes in every single thing around her. She’s like a tiny sponge that walks around and absorbs facts and words and smiles. It gives me hope that the human animal isn’t such a bad thing after all when it starts out so perfect and innocent. This seed of perfection that serves as an achor to hold against the trials of life and the tempations that this world offers.

Sometimes I will lay on the floor or put myself in a position where Emma can wrap her arms around my head and kiss me. She usually gives my head a hug and says "Aww, bay-bee" in that tiny little angel voice of hers. This of course triggers one of a thousand hallmark moments that deserves to be enshrined in some sort of permanent archive or memorial. Other times she will crawl up in my chair with me and snuggle into me and put her little head on my shoulder. It’s moments like that that make me appreciate the fact that I am so lucky.

We had Pizza the other night and I asked her if she wanted some. She said as best she could, "Peepah! Emma, Peepah!"

Light is "yight", Barney is "mine", Papaw is "Pap-pauuuu" (with an elongated sound), and Teapot is "peepot".

I know I’m rambling. I’m just trying to record these memories in some fashion before I lose them.

The image of her running around the corner to greet me though was something I’ve been waiting on for awhile. Something I’ve always wanted to see. My child running to me to greet me. Tonight I finally got to see it. Complete with the "uh-uh-uh-uh-uh" sound kids make when they are running and squealing with glee at the same time.

Priceless.

:P

Maybe yesterdays Bush-bashing was a little uncalled for. Sorry. Too much time on my hands and too many readily available image editing tools.

I’ll try and be nicer next time.

Promise.

Son of a @$%@#%!@